I Want Too Many Things

For ten years, I called it a discipline problem.

I constantly find myself in a research rabbit hole. It could be a digital product I think I could build in a couple of hours, or maybe how to write a custom skill for Claude, or how to actually make sense of that one concept I half-understood in a podcast two months ago. The research never ends. And I love the research. I love finding out. I love the moment when a piece clicks into place.

I live in the research.

When it’s time to actually do the thing, it’s fun the first few times. Then I need something new.

This essay was originally published on Substack.

230,500 Is a Lot of Anything

On Motherhood, Childhood Cancer, and Rebuilding

I was standing in the emergency room bathroom, looking into the mirror but also through it. I didn’t feel like I was there. I didn’t feel like I was real.

I remember thinking I looked awful. The fluorescent lighting wasn't doing me any favors either.

I dried my hands and looked in the mirror again.

Holy shit. How am I going to do this?

This essay was originally published on Substack.